We Are the Night

It's January but it feels like Halloween! I don't really understand why I've watched two German lesbian vampire movies and a new werewolf film, back to back, but I have. "Vampyros Lesbos" is a 1971 offering from director Jesús Franco and it's pretty much awful. Imagine if Penthouse, of the same year, 1971,  made a lesbian vampire porn film - you get the idea - the blood bright red before they figured out the formula for making blood look real. I watched this at Ottawa's Mayfair Theatre. "Wolf Man" is out in theatres now. One line review: It got a few howls and it's much better than the mangy dog I thought it would be. Which now brings me to "We Are the Night," a German vampire film from 2010 which I'm sure you've never heard of. I hadn't until it landed in my physical DVD/Blu-ray collection by accident. It's co-written and directed by Dennis Gansel and stars a bunch of German actors you've likely also never heard of. It's excellent. I haven't enjoyed a vampire film as much since "30 Days of Night" or "Daybreakers" (two other excellent vampire films). If vampires aren't your thing, I get it. If they are, this is a good one. The imagery here is, at times, surreal, something off of a Pink Floyd album cover. These are rich party girls with teeth. They go clubbing - something out of "Blade," and they have decadent tastes for all things but men. But these ladies have immortal problems as all undead folks seem to have. There are some fresh and tasty ideas here which I have never seen in a vampire movie. You can't find it for rent at  Movies 'N Stuff and you can't find it on streaming, at least not that I know of. If you get a chance, somehow, to see this one, dig your teeth in.

Cunk on Life

 Apparently this is the fifth Philomena Cunk TV special or one-off TV movie? I'm not exactly sure how it should be referred to. On a sparse runtime of 71 minutes, it falls into an episode-length of some TV shows. Whatever it is, it's funny as hell. "Cunk on Life" is the first (and only) one of Diane Morgan's (who brilliantly plays nitwit Philomena Cunk) very funny mocumentaries I have watched. So far. I laughed my guts out - "Do you mean all your intestines came out of your mouth while you were laughing, all over the floor? Sounds horrible. How did you get them back in, or did you? Are you sitting here now with no guts?" - this is something Philomena Cunk might ask me. In her own happy idiot way, (think "Borat," "Forest Gump," "Being There") simpleton Philomena Cunk goes about interviewing some of the world's brightest academics (real professors) on the subjects of philosophy, religion, and science in hopes of discovering what life is all about. Hilarious. I could see how this could begin to get tedious after a while, but again, at a 71 minute run time, it's worth every minute of your time. Cunk is asking big questions - "I didn't realize questions have a size." is something I imagine she might respond with. The answer will surely have you giggling. Catch it streaming on Netflix. 

The Emerald Forest

If you are unfamiliar with John Boorman, he is the director of "Deliverance." If you still haven't seen that film, start there. Then check out "The Emerald Forest." This film from 1985 was a Christmas gift, a Blu Ray from my wife. A delight.  Kino Lorber (like the more famous Criterion Collection people) have reissued this with a lovely looking new cover and a new commentary track on the disc. The late great Powers Boothe stars as Bill Markham, an engineer who went down to the rain forest with his wife (Meg Foster) and young son to build a massive hydro dam. His son, Tommy, is taken by the Invisible People, a tribe on Aboriginal Amazonians. Bill spends the next ten years working on the construction of the dam and all his free time combing the jungle in search of his missing son. Apparently this is based on a true story - even if this is partly true, it's pretty wild. Boorman's son, Charley Boorman plays the older Tomme. Having recently watched "The Naked Prey," I'm sure this must have inspired Boorman to do something similar. "The Emerald Forest" - a long forgotten film you will want to make contact with (I'm cheeky, like a loincloth).